It was a hot night (mostly because it’s November and you had the heating on). It’s late and you’re after some satisfaction. You turn on the TV and there he is — the same place he’s been for the last three days — all khaki trousers and rolled-up shirt sleeves. ‘Let me tell you about the latest big dump from Allegheny County, Baby’ (The ‘Baby’ is silent but implied) and you can barely contain yourself. Then he whips out his calculator…

One of the saving graces during the five days the US Presidential Election slowly but surely crept its way…

So that went well… kind of. After what felt like the longest birth pain in history, America has finally voted out ‘the orange one’ and made Joe Biden President-elect (we think) on his third time of asking. Joe is used to waiting though — he apparently asked Jill to marry him five times before she finally shrugged and said okay. American voters just did the same.

However, once they did, alongside the dancing in the streets, the hand wringing over why, in the face of Trumpism, this wasn’t an out and out landslide started almost immediately. Why did Trump nearly…

We’re old friends you and I. We’ve been friends since I was watching Sesame Street and couldn’t work out why you put jelly in your peanut butter sandwiches when I always had jam or why you pronounced aluminium weird. And I know you’ve been going through some stuff recently so I just thought we should chat… Intervention? No, I wouldn’t call it that — just a little check-in to make sure you’re not sliding into something you might never get out of…

So, this guy you’ve been seeing, how’s that going? Yes, he is different from your usual type… and…

Kate Campbell-Payne

British, lefty eclectic with too many opinions on too many things. Predominently obsessed with five ‘m’s — movies, musicals, museums, media and (A)merica.

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